What is it about books written in First Person that turns many readers off? Damned if I know. Example, in a novella of mine, written in first person has two ratings at Are, both one heart for overall enjoyment and one lip for sensuality:
· I couldn't get into this at all. i never got past the second chapter and won't even try. unimpressed!!!!
· I have to agree with the other poster. I put this book down after the first chapter. It is written in the 1st person which really threw me off and took away from the story. Very distracting.
I ask you is it fair to say a book is bad because you don’t like first person? And how can you say it isn’t sensual if you never read past the first chapter. The very hot first person excerpt that helped entice her to buy the book is certainly sensual. What do you think?
Hurriedly, I stripped and casually walked into the shower. "I hope it's all right. I changed my mind." I squished my nose as I pretended to smell my armpits. "I smell a little ripe."
He didn't say a word, scanning my body, for the longest time.
I smiled through squinting, knowing eyes. "I don't suppose I can borrow the soap?"
"You are beautiful."
"Yeah well I'm digging what I'm seeing too, Kino. The soap?"
He looked at his hand that held the bar of soap. "Ooof. Sorry." He threw the soap and I caught it.
"Thanks, this water is kind of cold. Is yours?"
"No, let me feel yours." He came over and I nearly jumped in the air as his beautiful cock brushed my thigh while running a hand under the water. "It is cold. Ahh this knob was turned down. How's that?"
"Much better, but I'm still cold. Do you think you could join me under the water and hold me?"
He stepped into the stream of water and embraced me wrapping his muscular arms around me. He kissed my ear just under my curly ringlets. I gasped as I felt his hard weapon jabbing me in the back. I turned and kissed him back passionately.
"Ooh." he sighed as I began stroking him using the soap bar as a lubricant. Through repetitive groans, I whispered in his ear, "I need to make sure this is nice and clean since I plan on taking it into my mouth."
"Ahh, yes, baby. Make it good and clean."
I handed the soap to him and turned so my back was toward him. He started with my shoulders and worked down. Washing the sway of my back, he spoke, "What a sexy ass you have."
I laughed and subtly parted my feet. The continuous spray of hot water and steam highlighted the ambiance of our liaison. I had gone from cold to warm in seconds and with Kino's help, I was getting hotter by the second. Stooping to wash my ass and legs his fingers explored my inner thighs and the area just above. I spread my feet farther and reached out to the wall to steady myself. My eyes closed to direct every ounce of concentration on the divine sensations that were emanating from below—from the erotic activities of his talented digits in my nether regions.
My heart was racing and my breathing came in short gasps with each sensuous thing he did to me. When his fingers parted the crack in my rump, I bent further over and stuck my ass in the air like a cat in heat. The invitation seemed to be too much for my Hawaiian hunk as fingers entered my pussy and anus simultaneously. I could barely stand, my legs felt like Jell-O. I spread my legs even more and locked my joints in place. Like the gymnast, I used to be, I rested the palms of my hands on the tile floor and offered my ass up as if it were a sacrifice to this man/god.
"Don't move." I watched him run to his clothes, which rested on a bench beside mine. He pulled a foil wrapped condom from his wallet, held it up for me to see and grinned.
In seconds, I quivered and gasped as he entered my ravenously hungry pussy. As the hot spray shot out from the wall directly to my ass, the mist swirled around us. The walls of my hot lubricous channel surrounded and clenched around him tight with each thrust of his godlike organ. Tremors of pleasure/lust spasmed through me with each hardy thrust of his magic wand.
Is the book a dog? I don’t think so, it sells good. Of course I wrote it, but I think the book is sexy and cute. I can’t help it if a reader doesn’t like first person and is stupid to boot.
Why did I write it in first person? Because I’m a natural first person writer and this book said “write me in first person, Dee.”
Some books do that. Here’s an example from my current WIP which I started in third person, but before I got very far rudely said to me, “What the eff are you doing, Dee. You’re writing me in third person? Can’t you tell I’m a first person story? You’re slipping, Dee. I’ll tell you used to be a lot sharper.”
What do you think?
She studied him over the rim of her glass as she sipped the overpriced vodka martini. Five eleven, dark brown hair, eye color unknown, dark gray blazer with open collar, black slacks and shiny black shoes. They have to have shiny shoes. She tittered. Unless they’re cowboys.
He stalked determinedly toward her, each step straight in front of the last, like an arrow shot from a bow. Another good sign. He carried a bottle of beer. Bad sign, unless he’s a cowboy. Ahh, but it’s imported. Heinekens, if she’s not mistaken—a good sign.
Sitting in a semi-circular booth at four o’clock in the chrome and mirror dominated Trends lounge she set her martini down and followed his progress. As he approached, she leaned forward, one hand holding the other and willed a friendly, if artificial, smile on her better than average face. Blue—his eyes were blue. He’ll do nicely.
Are you sure? It’s not too late to call this crazy gambit off.
The first time is always the hardest.
She held a welcoming hand out. “Hi, I’m Dede Wilson. Did you come to keep little ole me company.”
* * * *
I studied him over the rim of my glass as I sipped my overpriced vodka martini. Five eleven, dark brown hair, eye color unknown, dark gray blazer with open collar, black slacks and shiny black shoes. They have to have shiny shoes. I tittered. Unless they’re cowboys.
He stalked toward me determinedly, each step straight in front of the last, like an arrow shot from a bow. Another good sign. He carried a bottle of beer. Bad sign, unless he’s a cowboy. Ahh, but it’s imported. Heineken, if I’m not mistaken—a good sign.
Sitting in a semi-circular booth at four o’clock in chrome and mirror dominated Trends lounge, I set my martini down and followed his progress. As he approached, I leaned forward, one hand holding the other and willed a friendly, if artificial, smile on my better than average face. Blue—his eyes are blue. He’ll do nicely.
Are you sure? It’s not too late to call this crazy gambit off.
The first time is always the hardest.
I held a welcoming hand out. “Hi, I’m Dede Wilson. Did you come to keep little ole me company?”
Am I all wet, or does the first person scene take you right into the scene, while the third person lets you watch it?
Tell me, I want to know. Which is better?
Now getting back to my first example, the book where two people said it was crap, one of them admitting she didn’t like first person. I’ve asked for the book back from the publisher. I’ll have it back in another six weeks. My question is this, knowing there are many readers who prefer third, should I rewrite the book in third of should I leave it alone? I really would like your input on this.
33 comments:
I honestly don't mind first person. It would seem that if you can't get past the first chapter, unless there's something really wrong with the book besides that you just don't like first person, don't review it. I'm guessing the low sensuality score is because they have to answer *something* if they're reviewing it. But it seems very unfair to rate it based on THAT of all things.
I don't have a preference... you choose the perspective from which you want to write. There WILL be people who like it a lot!
I did reviews for years and was told to always mention whether the narrative was first person because some readers didn't like it. Personally I don't mind, in fact I think in some stories it gives you really good insight into the character. I enjoyed your excerpt.
Personally I love First Person narratives. I like 'walking' through the action with the character, I like being in their shoes, I like the intimacy it offers.
Third person allows a reader more distance from the action than first person. The truth is so many readers prefer to be hidden voyeurs peeping through a window rather than participators in the scene itself. Perhaps they're more comfortable that way, particularly when reading sensuous material?
I frequently write in first person because it feels natural to me. I think I'm a frustrated actor, I'm much too shy to ever get up on stage and act out a role so I do my acting through my characters, I become my characters.
As a reader, I enjoy either one, I wouldn't trash a book because of one or the other.
Hi Heather, Thanks for your feedback. It sounds like you believe I should leave the book I'm getting back, which btw, is Groovin n Waikiki, alone.
I'll never understand why some don't like first person. It actually forces some authors and pubs to forgo first person altogether.
Hi Gale, I'm glad you enjoyed the excerpt. I know whether a book is first or third person doesn't matter to most people, but the fact that there are readers who don't like first person has induced some pubs to eschew first person altogether. One of my pubs is one of them.
It's almost a First Amendment violation. LOL
Hi Fabian,
'Third person allows a reader more distance from the action than first person.'
Exactly, First person can become cumbersome on some stories, but for your average story with limited characters and povs it works fine and gets the reader into the hero/heroine's head.
I'm not only a reader, but I also write in first person. I don't know if I can write any other wat to write. My first book got 4 star reviews and my newle released erotic vampire ebook, on it first review, has gotten a 9 star rating. Personally I don't care what the story is written in as long as it is a good well written story, peroid.
G W Pickle
Hi Andrea, Good for you. I wish others were as thoughtful as you.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Dee
I have absolutely no problem with first person (providing it is done well - it is harder to convey other characters' emotions, and other action when using it and if done badly the reader tends to be in a perpetual state of "huh?". But not a problem for me (and I write in both first and third person - depending on the genre and what my characters want!). Likewise, don't see the problem with making first person just as erotic as third?!
I do not have trouble with first person books..I read either kind. susan L.
I admit first-person as a reader leaves me kind of cold in most cases, but hardly consider myself qualified to review a first-person book unless I can look past that bias. It's one the biggest frustrations I have paranormal fiction an urban fantasy right now, is that most of the mainstream novels are written in first person. I'll read them, I have no choice, but it does color my enjoyment of the story. In the end it does make it a bias. I think if they have a bias against first-person that should preclude them (if the have any sort of ethics) from reviewing the book done in that POV.
Hi Anonymous, Looks like we see eye to eye. Excuse my cliche and thanks for the comment.
Dee
Hi Lise, Yeah, I've heard that that some writers butcher first person. Really, the only difference between first and third person is the pronouns you use, so if a writer screws up first person, why would she do better in third?
Thanks much for reading and commenting
Hi Susan, Thanks for your input and thanks for reading my blog.
Dee
Hi Moondancer, That's the thing. If the seven hundred word excerpt is written in first person, why would you expect to book to be in third?
Blah-h-h!
Umm, hello, the Twilight series? Immensely popular and well written. Seriously?
Charli Mac
Hello Charli, I assume you mean it's written in First Person. I wouldn't know, I haven't read it, but if a good writer gets ahold of a good plot and writes in first person it can be dynamic.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Dee
Some stories are best told n first person. I think one of the reason readers prefer third person is because they're nosey--want to know what's going on in everyone's head. (I know that's why I like it. LOL)
The TWILIGHT series had an interesting twist to writing in first person. The author switched heads. Not all the chapters or books were written from one first person POV.
In my opinion if a reviewer takes on the responsibility of writing a review, they should at least suffer through reading the full book before they trash it. JMHO
Eliza March
I'm not sure why the person would complain they didn't like first person, then buy it -- when clearly the excerpt is in first person.
Some people don't like first person, some people don't like mysteries, or science fiction, or blue cheese. It's their right, but why on earth post a bad review of something you didn't even read because you don't like that type of book? Don't read it.
I love both first person and third person, but I can see why some people might not like first person. First person makes you more aware that you're being narrated to, which puts you outside the POV character's head instead of letting you project yourself into the story. You can't forget that someone is telling you what happened.
Reading a book in first person is like hanging out with a friend who wants to tell you their life story. Fun, if that person has had an interesting life and a unique way of looking at their experiences, along with an entertaining style of speaking. An author writing in third person has to make the story interesting. An author writing in first person has to make both the story AND the narrator of the story interesting.
Also, when you write in first person, it matters more what the POV character's personality is like. There are a lot of people I'd be interested in reading about that I wouldn't want to spend time with in real-life, and a first person story is more like hanging out with the POV character. If that person rubs me the wrong way--seems to braggy or self-absorbed or neurotic--it's harder for me to enjoy the story.
Hi Eliza, I think every first person story I ever wrote over 20,000 words had more than one pov. It's a fallacy when people say you have to stay in one pov if you write first person.
As for the character bragging about themselves, if it was in third person, the author wouls be bragging because Third person narrative is author intrusion. What's more the only difference is in the pronouns used.
Thanks for reading and the comment.
Dee
You know Pat, those are my exact same sentiments. Obviously, some people are less bright than others.
Thanks for commenting
Hi Madeleine, I think you hit the nail on the head with this statement."An author writing in third person has to make the story interesting. An author writing in first person has to make both the story AND the narrator of the story interesting."
That's because in third person the author is the narrator but in first person, who ever's pov they're in takes on the narrators role.
See what I mean?
Personally I like first person. I like how you can slip into the character's skin when your writing or reading it.
I have no idea why people don't like first person or why third is preferred except that in third you get a glimpse of what both character's in a romance are thinking of the other, which can be fun.
Janice~
I write some characters in first person, others in first. I'll read either.
I have a MUCH harder time with the phrase "little ole me" than with either point of view.
Not only do I like reading first person, but I enjoy writing that way, too. I can really get in my heroine's head that way.
Some readers may think they can't really bond with the hero if they don't read his POV...and that may be their reason for preferring third person.
Marianne/April
Hi Janice.
"except that in third you get a glimpse of what both character's in a romance are thinking"
There's no reason this can't be done in first person too. I do it all the time--in fp and tp.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Ha!
You never know what your characters are going to say on you these days, Pam. But rest assured Dede is quite a gal.
Thanks for the comment.
Here we go again. There's no reason an author can't get into other characters POV, but the reader had to be smart enough to pick up whose head thry're in when they think I, me and my.
My First person book Getting Naked at the Hilton uses five different povs through the course of the book.
Hi Dee
Interesting article. I love first person.
"First person can become cumbersome on some stories"
I actually diagree with this statement. One of the best aspects of first person POV is that in same sex stories, first person allows you to avoid the over preponderance of names of the characters, eg Charles touched Ralph. becomes I touched him.
Much easier to read.
Alison
www.abgayle.com
LOL AB I see what you mean. He touched him and he touched him back, really would work to well. So it's He touched Ralph and Ralph...
Post a Comment