Sunday, May 31, 2009
I was supposed to post this morning and I completely spaced it. My only excuses were that I was writing on my newest book then I had to go into the dayjob for a few hours to get caught up on some work.
As for what I have to say today?
I love movies. I don't attend very many during the school year due to my dayjob, but I overload on them during the summer and get the dvds of many when they come out. Today, although I bought the dvd weeks ago, I finally sat down and watched Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. And Oh MY!!
I liked Lucian in the first movie, but I really loved his character in this one. The story was so tight, fast paced, and despite my knowing the outcome, very satisfying in its conclusion. And Lucian--yum. The guy may not be Hugh Jackman/Wolverine tall and sexy, but there's a lot to be said for sexy short guys. LOL
Have to admit, the "altered" history regarding clothing, weaponry, and such was tolerable--I've gotten used to Hollywood and the Independent films screwing it up, but it was interesting to see how many of the characters that were with Lucian in the first film became what they are and how important Lucian was to the werewolf heirarchy.
Bloody and violent, yes, but I've come to expect that from the vampire-werewolf-supernatural creatures genre of film.
Next on my plate, Star Trek, Wolverine, and Night at the Museum 2.
I'd love to know what your opinions are regarding Underworld 3.
Have a great night.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
You see it everywhere notes off in the horizon, you hear it through the latest technology, its tied to memories good and bad. Lyrics that tug at you, compilations that move you, sound tracks that are your favorite. Everyone has them, and why shouldn't they?!
But sometimes the soundtracks of your life, are much more important than we think. And let me tell you why.
So it’s about 1am and I’m trying to fall asleep and then my brain goes and does it again; starts talking. “You know what would be a great idea Mila, if you stay up and do playlists for all your books!” Now as a rationally sound and mindful person I can say no to the whims of my mind. And what do I respond in return, “Why that’s a great idea!!”
Soooo now its about 3am in the morning when I finally fall asleep. Lol. And that got me thinking. I know most people need music of some type; well I know I do, when they are doing their writing, or even trying to find a song to bring out an inspirational moment. Sometimes the music even helps define the character.
Below I have the playlists from one of my characters (Maddie and Cole that Dee Shore has adopted as hers) that (thank goodness for summer) I will be able to get back to writing.
Alice in Chains – Would?
Tool - Sober
Daughtry – Its not over
Hinder – Lips of an Angel
Violent Femmes – Color me Once
Howie Day – Collide
Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away
Henry Nilsson – Lime in the Coconut
Switchfoot – Stars
Just by a few songs listed here what do you think the fundamental basis of my character is? Do you have one song that defines a characters or even a book? How about when you read a book do you hear a certain song that is perfect for it?
Would love to know!
With the re-release of my extended version books, I am going back and finding things about the book I didn’t realize before. The Seventh Legend, Watchers, Prophecy of the Boar, Smoke & Mirrors, and Reel-to-Real are looking better and better with the accompanying music.
Now I see why Hollywood gets into it! lol
Well I'm off to catch a flight, so you keep on rocking your bad-self you wonderful little Seducters.
And here is one song that I will always rock to, and for you to enjoy. Plus it has lyrics so I can even sing it right! LOL (I haven't mastered the art of embedding lol)
Keep on writing!
Mila Ramos, Paranormal & Contemporary Romance
Friday, May 29, 2009
Relax and enjoy it, that's what!
I just spent five days visiting with my grandmother in Florida. It was a nice escape from the stress of being unemployed and my huge to-do list--which hasn't gotten any smaller, but at least I'm now refreshed and ready to tackle it.
One of the many wonderful things about my grandmother is her ability to make an excellent gin and tonic. The secret is to get lime squeezed over the ice, add more after you've poured in the gin, then rim the glass with the lime juice. Enjoy that secret. ;)
It's tropical sun down there. Tropical meaning, fair-skinned freckled redheads shouldn't wear less than 60 SPF, especially if they're from up north. I burned my shoulders with 45 SPF, and I was only out for an hour. Upping it to 60 gradually darkened my limbs to resemble something closer to a normal skin tone. Ie., not ghostly white pale.
I applied moisturizer to my limbs while I watched "The Secret Life of Bees" and "W." with my grandmother. Both are excellent movies, very recommended. I also had the amusement of watching "Mall Cop", which I saw from the various stores in the mall was filmed at the local mall I go on a fairly regular basis.
We had to answer the question "What do you do when the Tanqueray runs out?". Very simple: BUY MORE! You can't relax by the pool without a good glass of gin and tonic, after all. ;)
I had a wonderful time in Florida and found inspirations for writing material wherever I want. Who doesn't like tropical vacations, anyhow?
And speaking of vacations.... My next trip is with Merideth to Vegas. No, I won't steal her away from Kalia; we're good friends. :D For those of you who are familiar with Blood and Mint Chocolates, Merideth is a mint chocolate addicted librarian vampire. Meri and I are headed to Vegas next Thursday, and I promise to blog about the experience. If we run into a hot Magistra or Magister, I'll be sure to let you all know! :D
My hope is to win big at Vegas so I can stop my job hunt. Hey, a gal can dream, right? :D
Let's hope the Tanqueray doesn't run out.
Love & Magic,
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Someone recently told me they were impressed by the positive energy I put into something. Fact is, I always try to put positive energy into everything I do. Negative only brings back negative. I don't even like trash talk. It just brings me down. I'd much rather find the positive spin on something, or walk away from it altogether.
That's not to say I avoid all conflict. That's simply not possible, and it's not always the best approach. But I've learned that unless the fight is really important to me, someone else can claim the victory. I've got better things to focus on.
So when it comes to life I think you get out of it what you put into it. I want the good stuff, lots of it, and as little of the bad as possible. I don't know, maybe I've got it all wrong, and I'm just one hell of a lucky gal. I don't think so.
But what do you think? Do you buy into the positive/negative energy thing or do you think it's all just a bunch of hooey? I'm genuinely curious. And don't worry, I'm not going to fight you if you don't agree with me. :)
Check out my latest release: BACK AT THE RANCH, Cowboy Games 2
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My friend Jon just got his first ebook published. I will not say his full name here since he's embarrassed to be friends with a gay erotic fiction author - yet he happily picks my brain day and night for promo tips!.
The point of this is that he has been trying to come up with creative ways to promo his book.
Good luck, Sonny Jim, join the club. Welcome to our collective nightmare.
Every author I know is trying to be creative and fresh in the pursuit of selling their books.
My boyfriend Herve will testify to the fact I am online almost all day either writing, editing or promoting.
I promote in some way each and every day and it's endless.
Herve is very supportive but I feel like a bad boyfriend sometimes because I am always working.
Whether I am updating my MySpace page (still my favorite place to go since I have met so many AWESOME people through it) or posting a comment on Facebook, Twitter, chatting with the readers on my publisher's reading group or my own groups Midnight Seductions Authors and Seven Wicked Writers or one of the 345 yahoo groups I belong to, I am constantly working it.
I have five blogs a week that I contribute to, plus author interviews at Dark Diva Reviews that I do each week (they run on Wednesdays) and book reviews there as well.
I am a promo homo.
I am either posting excerpts on Monday when it is a free-for-all on most yahoo author groups.
I take part in loop chats and had a live chatroom chat at Midnight Seductions Authors on Friday night with my writing partner DJ Manly that was a huge success.
We genuinely engaged with our readers. Nobody blasted the chat with endless excerpts. We talked, we had fun, we still discussed our two series of books Black Point, a contemporary gay erotic romance series and our upcoming Blood Eclipse, a paranormal M/M vampire series.
We got to know our readers better and they got to ask us some awfully personal questions. It was great!
For the first time in two years of doing promo, I got emails saying, "Thanks for the chat. It was a blast. I really needed this tonight."
I can honestly say it was a fantastic three hours and I laughed like a madman at my computer screen.
It confirmed for my pets that their daddy is a loon.
But my question is, how far is too far? When do you become an efficient PR person for your work and when do you become an irritating pest?
Several authors I know have hired PR companies which have invaded the loops like demented locusts, blasting them with promos. Most of them are now on moderation. They turn up everywhere and just dump and run. This is bad for the author who is paying for the service, only to have the promos blocked.
I know several authors who are personally guilty of this too.They do the Internet equivalent of drive-bys. They also post the same excerpts over and over again.
Getting back to my mate Jon, I tried to advise him against it, but he thought he would get creative and joined a dating website.
He posted an ad that dozens of unsuspecting women thought was a genuine quest for love only to become enraged when they realized it was a book promo.
He mysteriously got several women from Russia who responded to his ad and one of them actually bought his book and wrote the following,
"I have never read such crap in my life."
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Have a great week everyone,
Monday, May 25, 2009
I know, same old story, different day. Those are the same things I worry about with my other books, but this time, it's about Ben and Vance. They are such cool characters to me. Both are very Alpha male. No backing down when it comes to a fight that needs to be fought. Both are Marines (former in Ben's case) and have been through battles serving their country.
Me, being the wicked author I am, I gave them (in my mind and from the way Vance has reacted) a much harder experience to get through. My only excuse is: it was the one thing I knew they could turn to each other over and finally have their HEA (Happily Ever After.)
If you want to check it out, the book is titled, Diablo Blanco Club: Under Control and will be available from Loose Id, LLC on Tuesday, May 26th.
Here's the link:
Thanks for listening to me babble, off to play at the last day of the Literary Nymphs Memorial Day LGBT chat.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Over a year ago, I attended the memorial service of my husband's dear friend, Vern. I didn't know Vern well myself; but after listening to comrades, friends, and family speak of him, I think know him a lot better.
You see, Vern spent 32 years of his life in the Army, specifically Special Forces. My husband, Dennis, was also in SF and considered Vern a good friend and mentor.
Vern had four Purple Hearts, a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, was nominated for the Medal of Honor, and numerous other awards I can't begin to recall.
When Vern was in Viet Nam, he was assigned to a small Special Forces team of four who were dispatched to monitor the Viet Cong. I don't remember the details of where or when or even why, but in a way that doesn't matter. Unknowingly, they were dropped into the middle of over 500 Viet Cong soldiers. The helicopter's crew were killed and the helicopter destroyed. The four Green Berets dug in. SF soldiers carry enough firepower to sustain a fight almost indefinitely; but in this case, none of the four figured they'd make it out alive. After a long battle, Vern and his small group were still alive while the Viet Cong sustained 130 casualties. The VC retreated, certain that they were up against a much larger force. Little did they know that only four men held them off that day.
Scott, on the other hand, just graduated from his qualifications course to be a special forces medic. He's the son of a dear lifetime friend of mine. Being an SF soldier was his calling. It was what he wanted to do. After a tour in Iraq, he came bad even more convinced that he wanted to join this elite group of men.
Special forces soldiers are a different breed. They are highly intelligent, don't conform well to the regular army, yet are team players, and are modest and unassuming. They almost always possess an uncanny ability to compartmentalize. I can easily recognize a fake from a mile away. If a man brags about his service as a Green Beret, he wasn't one. These men simply do not brag about it, nor do they talk about it much except with their comrades.
These guys are truly fighting the war against terrorism, the ones in the trenches that quietly get the job done.
As for Vern, I know he's gone in peace to a better place. And Scott, I wish him safe and successful missions.
Whether or not you agree with the politics behind war, please salute those soldiers who gave and continue to give so much for so little in return. These are true American heroes, the silent defenders of freedom and champions of the opressed.
I salute you and may God bless you.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Recently I had the pleasure of meeting Em Lynley, one of our newest at Midnight Seductions! She’s a fun, interesting woman with a passion for writing just like I have! Granted, we write different sub genres, we’re still romance writers nonetheless.
The cool thing about this for me is that Em lives close by. About two miles away from me, as a matter of fact. I expect to see her stalking me LOL!
Being romance authors, (or being authors in general) we understand that this is a lonely profession. Take into account that I’m also a cigar smoker and wine enthusiast and I’m even more alienated as too many of my friends either don’t drink or drink only on occasion. But when I met Em, we talked about cigars, and wine and food and various other things. It was nice to find someone else who isn’t on the “get a real job” bandwagon that so many people are on just because we get to sit at our desks and write smut in various forms, instead of being forced to work for some overpaid chump.
Now this month Em and several other authors are taking my BDSM in Romance course online. We talked about the course, how it’s delivered in online format and what I’d like for all my students to take away from the course. I even gave her a demonstration of throwing one of my floggers and one of my singletails! Plus we talked about gay sex, my lingerie fetish and a myriad of other things I can’t talk about with my non writer friends.
Imagine this conversation:
Me: “Goddamn I wonder what it’d be like to shove the end of my flogger up that woman’s ass and make her beg to suck me off while she’s being whipped.”
Non writer friend: “What the fuck?”
How awkward. Well, awkward for them anyway. I could give a shit less LOL!
Or if I start talking about deadlines and writing stresses, (both of which I think all writers are addicted to) Em won’t say “get a real job.” Chances are, she’ll probably buy me a round and mention her looming deadlines too.
The point I’m making is that in this lonely business, we all need friends and peers who support us. It’s great to have the writer community at large online and even on the phone, but to meet in person and get that real connection, even if it’s only occasional is still a wonderful thing. Ask Maura Anderson and Yasmine Galenorn.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I'm trying to stop giggling... really! A lingerie company in Slovenia has come up with what they are calling a 'smart bra'.
The idea of the lingerie is that when a woman becomes sexually aroused, her skin heats up and the heat-sensitive foam of the bra detects temperature changes. The bra then provides more lift and pushes up the woman's breasts.
But now I am left with the disturbing images of a woman who is *not* on the make (say, this is the only bra left in the drawer before she does laundry) and she decides to go for a run down by the lake to get some exercise. She runs, heats up, and is soon smothered by her bounteous breasts. Or falls in the lake and floats from the bodacious ta tas to the middle where they cool down and deflate, leaving her to drown because she can't swim.
I dunno... seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Maybe they should build in a flashing neon warning -- "Use with common sense, this lingerie may be dangerous to your health."
What next? Smart underwear that proclaims Who Dealt It?
I just love the incredible imagination that allows people with wild ideas to actually create them! This bra is the brain-child of Lisca, and will be in stores in the UK this summer.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
So what do you think social networking or stalking sites?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
This is when I was green...
Green= me not knowing anything and breaking every rule in grammar...aka newbie
It was a nice reminder on how much I have learned with time and how much my work has changed...As I sat reading the story I spotted every change and wanted to start getting out the red pen....When I had first finished it I was sure I wrote the best thing out there...I was so wrong...so very very wrong...LOL
I'm proud that I've gotten better at my craft and I notice it..I know that I still have much to learn but..With time I know I will get even better...
Give it another few more months or a year and I will look back at more stuff and see the improvement I've made since that time...
I think that with every book every author grows...some discover their voice...and others improve it....that is the thing about writing....
One never stops learning and growing...
As writers have you looked back on old work and seen changes? As readers have you noticed authors work change as they grew with time?
Monday, May 18, 2009
By the way, I tried to position the covers strategically throughout the post, but they all showed up like this. Sorry about that!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Read Chapter One!
Buy it in eBook and Print at Whiskey Creek Press Torrid!
Buy the Kindle Edition!
Watch the Trailer!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The sex worker industry is in turmoil this week now that Craigslist has clamped down on Erotic Services.
The way I see it, as long as there are horny men out there and there are men and women eager to service them for a fee, prostitution will exist.
Personally, I am all for legalizing the industry to make it safer for everyone. In this economy, you can bet it would continue to be the business that drives our dollar further.Last night, I had dinner with some friends who brought along their friend...let's call her Alice...who is a brothel madam.She lives in their building and is actually a very pretty girl of 22.
I admit I was stunned by her tale. Long and the short of it is this: she is an aspiring actress from Atlanta. She rents a fancy Beverly Hills apartment she couldn't afford in her wildest dreams and makes her rent - and more - by sub-letting every single room in her apartment to sex workers.Even her living room has a bed in it.
Alice mans the phones (six lines, land and cell) and wields the computer messages.I asked her a lot of questions and she answered them all. I found it all tawdry and sick but this woman has so many sex workers eager for a safe working environment she is now renting two hotel rooms in Culver City each day with her two most trusted girls lined up to handle more outgoing calls.
She has single mothers who work while the kids are at school. She has aspiring actresses who want to work to pay for 'head shots' (photos) but end up liking the easy money and find it hard to walk away. She has a few girls who just hate men and enjoy making them pay for 'it.'This was what Alice told me.
It is interesting to me that her most trusted, reliable and most successful worker is a hermaphrodite dom. It sort of makes sense. To mete out discipline, I guess you need to have a bit of discipline yourself.
The clients are mostly clean cut business guys who want massages with happy endings. Some want more. And they pay for it.A few guys have developed crushes on Alice and she loves money - her words, not mine - so she has caved in and had sex with a couple of guys, for triple the usual rate.She's covered for sick girls, lazy girls, stoned girls, absconded girls...the stories were endless.
Alice has learned very fast that her sex workers will try and pull a fast one and fuck the client and try and keep the extra money. Those girls and those clients don't last long in her er...establishment.The only time Alice's apartment is unavailable is Sunday.
Her boyfriend is home then and that is their sacred day. He had no idea what she was doing for a living until recently when a client came back and tried to rob her...Alice, BTW, takes 50% of her girls' income. For this fee, she provides the johns. She provides clean sheets and towels, a modicum of safety since she won't take a client without a call-back number - which she checks - and she also places the ads with the girls' photos. She also counsels them, provides lunch and/or dinner.
She insists on safe sex for her workers and encourages hand jobs as opposed to full sex and charges extra for that. She watches the girls like a hawk and by her own admission, her home is like a revolving door.I couldn't live like that and I am saddened so many people do. She has only ever had one guy come back and try and rob her, only to find her boyfriend was home and he was not amused. Nor was he gentle in his handling of the home invader.
How much time Alice has for her auditions etc. I do not know. I do know that she will not stop what she is doing since she is making personally, about a thousand dollars a day - that she admits to.
I'm betting it's a lot more. And I'm also betting she doesn't pay taxes.
Believe me, she is not the only one.
She learned this business from another friend who also runs her own 'house'. Over dinner, Alice drove me nuts with cell phones going like crazy. Her girls check in with her each time a john arrives and when he leaves. She keeps track of it all with a crisp professionalism that was frankly, eerie.
She told me her cell phone companies frequently shut her down when they figure out what she's doing with their phones. She just signs up under other fake names and buys a new batch of numbers. She rents girls out for parties and now her boyfriend is their driver and bodyguard.She told me somebody has already registered the domain name www.Craigslisteroticservices.com and the horny, hopeless johns will start going there to find cheap sex.Craigslist is not the villain in this picture. It is a website that has done much worse than list sexual services. I have more of a problem with the ads that target unsuspecting homeowners who find strangers coming to their door to take the allegedly free furniture they own.
And what about the woman who has become the vicious target of a guy who keeps posting her address and inviting strangers over for sex?
Craigslist plans on regulating the sex ads on their site and charging fees. I hope this is a sincere effort to offer protection to people who engage in anonymous sex. I hope it weeds out the nasties. I don't think it will...but thank God it's not my problem, it's not my life.
I just write about this stuff.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Behind the scenes with Adriana Kraft – here’s your chance to find out what makes us tick. We’re talking about why we write erotic romance, how we write together, what we like to write and read, why we focus on bisexual heroines, and what’s coming up next in our Meghan’s Playhouse series.
Book one, Seducing Cat, was released April 1 at Whiskey Creek Press Torrid and stayed in the April top ten best sellers all month, with a 4.5 kisses review at TwoLips Reviews. Book two, A Woman for Zachary, is due out July 1. The five book series chronicles the adventures of Meghan Keenan, a modern day Aphrodite who likes to bring other couples together by sharing herself with them, up close and personal.
What could college English professor Caitlin Shanahan ever have in common with the brash carpenter Kurt Davis? Meghan Keenan, that's what. The twenty year old sprite has taken it upon herself to bring the unlikely pair together through sharing her sexual delights with each of them. They never have a chance, and town-gown relationships have never been better…
Zachary Cullen has ignored Josette Patrice’s overtures for years, but she agrees to take on his latest protégé-slash-arm-candy Meghan Keenan in her off-Broadway workshop theater. The girl has incredible talent, but Josie would stake her reputation on that little thing being a switch-hitter, like herself, and she doesn’t want Zach to be duped. Josie sets out to seduce Meg and expose her for what she is, but all bets are off when Meg turns the tables on Josie to hook her up with Zach.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Today I’ve decided to talk about the book that I recently read. Yes I am so going to plug Wendi Darlin here and her recent release “Devil’s Advocate.” Boy, what a great story it was! When I read the first lines of the book I knew I was going to love it. What’s more to love than having drinks with your very best-friends?
But not only that the story was touching and I truly fell in love with some, ok all characters. Grady is mine so step off ladies! Lol I HIGHLY recommend this book! It’s funny, it’s sweet, and it’s hot! Cause wooo *fans self* the sexual tension between Haylie and Blake is sizzling hot!
If me telling you it’s a great book let the cover do the talking for me…
(click on the picture to be directed to Wendi's website)
Yeah…I’m in LOVE! lol Now ya’ll follow this link and BUY, BUY, BUY. You won’t be disappointed.
The Wall of Jericho - Mainstream Romance - Available @ www.devinedestinies.com
Most of you reading this know what it takes to promote and sell books. For those that are just starting out with an idea to write a novel, some of the pointers listed below might help you.
At some time or another, every author has received the dreaded rejection letter. You’re wondering where you went wrong in pitching your book. You’re also wondering what gets the attention of the people who move your book up the chain of command. Could it be the cover letter or the synopsis?
Bowker states that there were 480,000 books published in the US in 2008. That’s a lot of books, but think how many didn’t make it to that stage. The number is approximately tripled. The tripled number is how many manuscripts you are competing with. Getting involved in your work is very important. This will show that you are willing to do your part to raise awareness of your book and in turn impress a publisher.
Send in a partial manuscript of 2-4 chapters because editors are busy. They just don’t have the time to read an entire manuscript. If they find they’re interested, they will ask for more. Once they ask for more, give them a marketing plan on how you plan to promote your work. This could make a good impression.
Once a publisher accepts your book, getting "out there" and promoting your work as much as possible is the way to sell. Always tend your email list, snail mail lists, association updates, etc. Don't rely on your publisher to do this. Distribution is really their major role and one that's hard to get on your own. Using all the technology available to you would include social networking and your own personal circle of friends and colleagues.
A low cost way to build as an author is developing websites, blogs and if possible, sending out press releases. These are no cost ways without leaving home.
We make another mistake thinking that a website is the advertisement. The website is a destination….you have to sell the site in order to sell the work. You want people to engage with it so they will engage with your work.
Believing reviews will sell work isn’t a very good theory. This is just another point in a platform and another way to name recognition. Reviews don’t sell books. The hard work of an author does.
I usually try to make it a point to attend a chat. When there aren’t chat days, I post to the sites that allow posting for that day. Every little bit helps in selling. It’s not easy, but you may see the results in the royalty check you receive from your publisher.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I've blogged about tattoos before but this blog concerns celebrities- because we all know we couldn't lump them into a category with everyday tattoos right? haha
Seriously, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Check out this website that tells more about their tattoos. Who gets longitude and latitude inked on their body?
Interested in Tila Tequila's latest tattoo? Or Kelly Osborne? Check them out here.
They even have guess who sites that want you to guess which celebs are sporting this tattoo.
What a turn of events. I remember, not too long ago, when tattoos were thought to be related to bikers and convicts. Now you can be a politician, movie star, or even the president and have a tattoo. Writers add them to their chracters, directors add them to their actors, and kids even add temporary ones to their skin.
No comments on this one please... pictures of your tattoos only! (insert my evil grin here) Seriously, do tattoos turn you on? Offend you? Turn you away? Spill the beans folks...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Now here’s what few people know, you can win a free e-book just by 1 being a member of our yahoo group and 2 reading the newsletter. That’s pretty easy if you ask me. So if you’re a member check and see if you won this month and if your not a member join and check next month. You never know you might already be a winner.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I had to give it up about three years ago because the hate mail, death threats, and stress from the unpaid and largely unappreciated work finally got to me. I had decided I'd had enough. Today, I am much happier as a sex and erotic romance writer. Whilst I am not rich, I make a nice living from my writing. I just started a new writing gig with Sex Is Magazine, and I'm very excited. In a sense it's a raise and promotion, since I'll get more exposure with Sex Is and I'll be paid more than I was paid for writing for Nuts4chic. I get fan mail now, which is a nice change from reading e-mails saying I was a bitter Feminazi cunt who hated men (I'm not exaggerating the language, either). I've been a feminist for the past decade, but some recent events have caused me to reconsider my feminist credentials.
I have been negatively judged for my sex and erotic romance writing by people I had originally considered colleagues.
I noticed a few days ago that my blog had been quietly removed from the Feministblogs blog, after having been on it for over ten years. I wasn't even given the courtesy of notification or a chance to defend myself. And that's just the latest negative thing that has happened to me. What's ironic to me is that there are feminist bloggers who consider themselves "pro-sex feminists", but I'm a REAL pro-sex feminist. I actually write about sex, sex toys, and erotic romance. I dive head-first into sex blogging, unlike the neophytes who only get their toes wet. They don't take any risks, like I do. I did get a huffy e-mail about six months ago from a feminist who told me that I needed to remove my blog from the Feministblogs blogroll because she didn't like a post I wrote about sex dolls. Since my post didn't meet her expectations and didn't talk about how some men abuse and mutilate sex dolls, I didn't deserve to be listed on Feministblogs. I didn't agree with her, and left it at that. I have a feeling some huffy, purse-lipped women complained about my posts appearing on Feministblogs, and now I see that I am no longer on the blogroll.
This isn't the first time feminists have turned on me because of my sex writing. During a phone call with a woman from a feminist group that worked on women's issues in family court, she told me that (1) she couldn't pay me, (2) she and the group valued my input, BUT (3) due to my sex writing the valuable information I gave her would have to go uncredited because I was considered a "liability". This crap came from the same types of feminists who had rarely paid me for my writing, rarely promoted my work, rarely sought my articles for publication in their magazines, or rarely recognized and credited me for my hard work. I had looked for paid writing work in feminist publications and women's issues work for years, but no one had even given me the courtesy of a "thank you for your application" e-mail. So, when I discovered that not only did I have a knack for sex writing and erotic romance writing, but people were eager to praise me and pay me well for my work, I jumped at the chance. Hey, I have bills to pay and I can't live on an occasional thank you. I still wanted to do the feminist work, but once I started the sex/erotic romance writing, I noticed my former colleagues suddenly started ignoring my e-mails. I knew what was going on.
About a week ago, I was recommended to a new feminist group that is marketing itself as the latest women's group that will change the way women's issues are viewed in the U. S. (Yeah, I know. Highly unlikely to have any real impact, but it sounded exciting.) I have not heard back from them, and I know it's because of my sex and erotic romance writing. These are people who cannot get adequate air time and print time for their views, yet they rejected me - one writer who has had a following all those years. It seems that it's okay to be a pro-sex feminist only as long as you aren't REALLY a pro-sex feminist. If you make a living from sex writing, erotic romance writing, and love sex toys, you aren't a "real" feminist. Being delisted from a blog I had been on for over a decade was the last straw.
So, as far as I'm concerned, I'm finished with feminism. In many ways I still consider myself a feminist, but after the shitty treatment I got from women who call themselves feminist, I'm done with it. Women who work as sex writers, erotic romance writers, and sex toy reviewers expect some criticism from what we do because (living in the U. S.) we live in a hypocritical and sexually stuffy society. The U. S. is both hyper-sexed and Puritanical. Talk about cognitive dissonance!
I love sex writing, erotic romance writing, and sex toy reviewing, and I have no intension of giving it up. If that means I have to turn in my Feminist Decoder Ring, I'll be happy to give it up. I don't need that kind of judgmental shit in my life.
Have other writers here been judged because of the kind of writing they do? Have your family and friends condemned you or questioned your morals? I wanted to tell my story, and now I'd like to hear yours.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Promiscuity in women
Is the age of promiscuity in women upon us? Articles I’ve read recently indicate a shift in women’s values may be taking place allowing for more freedom of choice regarding sex, even more than men, researchers say.
A December article in Mail On Line, based on a More magazine study, for instance, compare real life for women to the popular sexy show, Sex and the City.
“Being bold and brazen in the bedroom won Carrie Bradshaw and her friends a legion of female fans.
But viewers who think the ‘anything goes’ sexual antics in Sex And The City is fiction should perhaps think again.
Life, it would appear, is more than a match for art.
Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found.”
The article goes on to describe some other surprising statistics:
· “By the age of 21 they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner.”
· “A quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men.” “
· “Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.”
· “Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door.”
Now that’s a double standard!
Other interesting tidbits include:
· “The survey follows a U.S. study earlier this year that found teenage girls who watch a lot of TV shows with a high sexual content, such as Friends and Sex And The City, are twice as likely to become pregnant.”
· “And only 32 per cent believed love to be an important factor before having sex. Seven out of ten confessed to having had a one-night stand and a fifth had enjoyed more than five.”
· “Only 1 per cent said they would wait until marriage to have sex.”
· “One in four said they would marry for money whilst 39 per cent would sleep with their boss for a promotion. And 27 per cent would have an affair with a married man, while 14 per cent would sleep with their best friend’s partner.”
The study, sponsored by More magazine, also found women crave more sex, but still believe men enjoy it more than they do.
Lisa Smosarski, editor of More, suggested that there will be no turning back for today’s sexually confident young women. ‘Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today’s twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed. And why not?
‘Women today have increasingly busy and stressful lives juggling study, jobs, friends, family, career and their relationships,’ she said.
‘Sex is a great and free way to relax, unwind and have fun in today’s fairly stressful society.’
The study was carried out to launch More’s safe sex campaign, which started that week, back in December.
It found that almost a fifth of the young women surveyed had contracted a sexually transmitted disease while 21 per cent had been persuaded by a man not to use a condom when they wanted to.
Miss Smosarski went on to say: ‘Whilst women aren’t embarrassed to take the lead in the bedroom, it seems they’re not so forthright when it comes to contraception.’
So readers, What do you think? Are women as a whole becoming more wanton and promiscuous? Even more promiscuous than men? Do you agree women are becoming more promiscuous? If so why do you think it’s happening. I’d like your take on this.
Friday, May 8, 2009
the soft tinkling sound of bells. So many times now that the sound is no longer
soft and tinkling.
It's like being inside the bell tower at Notre Dame when the bell ringer is at his best.
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells -
Of the bells -
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
In the clamor and the clanging of the bells!
(Thanks Edgar Allen Poe, The Bells)
So what's up with the bells?
My twelve year old had his tonsils and adenoids removed yesterday, and so I didn't have to stay at his bedside, and he didn't have to yell for me, I gave him one of the little crystal bells I have. You know...a dinner bell. Makes the sweetest sound. Errrrr, made the sweetest sound.
Not in this demon child's hands. The bottoms of my feet are worn out. The skin is now paper thin. Won't take much more and the soles of my feet will be dripping blood. Little Demon. He's doing it on purpose too. Punishing me for this surgery.
He liked getting strep once a month. Kept him out of school. Now he knows he will go to school so much he will be the smartest kid there. Yay!!!!! Plus, he'll have more energy now. He'll sleep much better--no snoring and waking up. So, when he comes home from school he won't flop down on the sofa and go to sleep. He'll have to take out the garbage and make his bed and do his homework in a timely fashion. No more feeling sorry for him.
On another up side. He can go to football camp this summer too. Yay!!!! XBox Live move over. lol
But I have to say, poor kid is miserable right now. Between being high on hydrocodone and still in some pain, he's really cranky. I'm spoon feeding him mashed potatoes and gravy, pudding, sweet potatoes, soup, etc. And, of course, popsicles.
They loved him at the hospital. He was funny. At least they thought he was. The nurse came at him with the needle to do the IV, and he says, eyes as big around as saucers, "Whoa, that's one big freaking needle!" I almost choked. They heard him up and down the hall and all came to peek in on who had said it, laughing their asses off.
And then I am sure they will never forget this question to the anesthesiologist.
"Um...listen...I got a question. The other day I had a CAT Scan and the dude put this heavy apron thing over my chest, and then he put another one over my privates. He said he wanted to make sure I could help populate the world some time down the road. So what's up with this stuff you're putting me to sleep with? It's not going to damage my man stuff is it?"
There is no where to hide in one of those little pre-op rooms. And only a curtain separates you from all the other rooms. The whole place rocked. Did that embarrass my twelve year old? Hell no. He waited patiently for his answer. Had to give the anesthesiologist who had to be in his fifties time to stop choking first, of course.
So, now that he was satisfied the family jewels would still be in tact when he left the building, he was ready to go in. I kissed him good bye. He asked if I would be there when he woke up. I said, "Wouldn't be anywhere else. I love you." I then stood there and watched them wheel him away, tears streaming down my cheeks, telling myself it's just tonsils, just tonsils, just tonsils. Nothing is going to happen.
I went out to the waiting area where I was offered coffee, no diet coke. *sigh* Sat down with my book, read fifteen minutes and the waiting room attendant hands me the phone. The doctor says, "Surgery went well, he's fine, and they will call you back in a couple of minutes." I thanked him and again tears flowed. He was ok.
Five minutes later, the door opens, and I am ushered back to him. I call his name, his eyes flutter open. He's incoherent, but not so incoherent he can't recognize me. His arms sort of flop forward, and he starts to thrash. His eyes look so frightened. And I realized later it was because he couldn't control his arms. The nurse is standing there and her eyes widen. Scared me. His lips are moving--no sound. I bend down to him and all of a sudden is arms fall around my neck and he pulls me down to him. He plants a wet kiss on my cheek and I hear the mumbled sound of "I love you."
If I die today, then I die knowing I am truly loved. And actually, the bells still have a soft, tinkling sound.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Me, I dream of winning the lottery -- big.
After which, all of my problems will go away, and I can afford all of my hobbies and interests. Hugh Jackman, Tom Selleck and Nathan Fillion (among others) will be knocking at my door, wanting a piece of me. Of course I'll tell them I'm happily married, but they can rub my feet or babysit my children. *cough*
While I realize the chances of me winning the lottery in a big way and buying a castle in Scotland are pretty much non-existant (you do have to buy a lottery ticket to win, don't you?), I've spent that money in so many ways, so many different times. Wishful thinking? Premonition? Not-so-secret fantasy? Who knows, but whatever it is, I'm definitely not giving my fantasies up.
So what's your secret fantasy? Sexual? Monetary? Fame? Everyone's got one, and it's good to induldge once in awhile. Take 5 minutes today and revel in your fantasies!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Last weekend the hubby and I went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The hubby's a huge fan of superhero movies, and I admit I am too. Plus I love me some Hugh Jackman. I mean, come on!
It was pretty entertaining in my opinion, lots of action and lots of Hugh. :)
Next up, we'll be seeing Star Trek this weekend. I'm also excited about Public Enemies, opening in July (Johnny Depp, hello!). I'm sure I'll also end up at Terminator: Salvation and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, because my husband likes both franchises. All in all it looks to be an interesting movie season.
I love going to the movies in the summer. Getting out of the heat and escaping into a movie is kind of like escaping into a good book. Great characterization and a riveting plot draw me in, but sometimes I like a good old-fashioned escapist popcorn flick.
What summer flicks are you looking forward to? What genre do you prefer: action/adventure, sci-fi, drama, comedy, family, or something else? What makes a good movie in your mind?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Here are some of the writers' comments:
"Energized to write more. Grateful to be published. Humbled to be appreciated"
"Made my day/week/month."
"Fabulous. I love to hear from readers. I want to know what they like. Makes me very happy."
"It made me thrilled and pushed me to work even harder."
Look how easy that was to get your favorite writer to sit down at the keyboard and work even harder at their next release!
I also asked readers about their experiences with contacting authors. Only about 70% of readers said they'd ever directly contacted an author about a book. They mainly wrote to mention a specific book (76%) or general appreciation of a writers' body of work (54%), though several wrote to clarify something about a book or character, which means that even when readers are finished with a book, they are still thinking about the storyline and the characters. That's a great feeling for an author to realize that. We've lived and breathed along with our characters while we're writing, and the biggest compliment a reader can give us is to let us know that when you closed the book, you didn't just forget about the story we've told.
The age of the Internet and social networking has made it extremely easy for readers to get in touch with authors. Most readers found it easy enough to get a contact address/email address (85%), and most visited their favorite authors' websites (77%). About two-thirds of readers were more likely to contact e-pubbed authors than print authors, probably because more e-pubbed authors have an online presence and plenty of ways for someone to find them: websites, blogs, social networking, Twitter.
In sum, I'd just like to let readers know that for a writer, few things can beat a letter or email from their readers. I'd like to encourage everyone to take five minutes next time you read a book that you enjoyed, and jot down a couple of lines to let the author know, especially if you thought about the story long after you'd finished it. Feel free to find your favorite authors on Twitter or Facebook and leave a comment for them. You are guaranteed to make someone's day/week/month!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I joined this awesome yahoo group that has helped me a bunch. I mean, can't tell you how much it has helped me. Really, props to Faith and her AWH group goes out!
Also, my friends have helped me a bunch too. You can write, sure, but is it really good. I mean. Beta readers, don't sell them gals, or guys short. They know a thing or two. So on my yahoo group, Amethyst Winters and Company, I recently opened it up to any and all who ever want help, to just post that in their subject line and ask, anytime, any day. I mean, let's face it. If we whipped out a perfect novel the first time, well, we'd be...perfect. Raise your hand nice and proud if that describes you! All right wise guys, put them down.
So, my thought is this, who has helped you, or do you believe your writing is good enough the way it is. Lemme tell you, don't give me the "well, I'm published already" speel, because, I have read some stinkers, I mean hold your nose and use the book to light and keep you warm in the winter, stinkers, lol.
I told my group that I'm loving all the feedback I've been getting. It just makes me a better writer, so that when I am published, or the wip in question is published, someone will read it and say "wow! This was phenomenal!"
Saturday, May 2, 2009
What are your favorite sexual sex scenes/turn ons as read in books? If you've read about in books, please share! Spread the joy and recommend a potential new read for us!
I'll have to admit that a particular Mercedes Lackey book gave me my telepathy fetish. Reading fantasy and paranormal erotica may never be the same again! XD
So sound off! What's your favorite sexual sex scenes/turn ons in books?
Love & Magic,
Friday, May 1, 2009
It's here! Hot f/f/m menage ~ erotic romance - just released at Extasy Books
What would it be like to be romanced by not one but two potential partners, simultaneously?
Luci Parker has finally achieved the career of her dreams as an erotic author – but the only romance in her life these days is in the books she writes. Long attracted to both men and women, Luci despairs of ever finding just one person to settle down with.
Owners of a South Side Chicago bookstore, Chai and Frank Ferguson eagerly devour Luci’s books as fast as she can write them, and now they wonder if she might be the woman they’ve been looking for.
Frank is deeply in love with Chai but knows she’ll never be complete without a woman to love as well. Can he match the passion of not one but two exquisite and complicated women at the same time? Will Luci even want him? And if Chai truly falls in love with Luci, will there be room for him?
Here's a link to an excerpt - enjoy!
Here's a link to an excerpt - enjoy!