The Reality of XXX Sex Scenes

By A.J. Llewellyn

I read and I write a lot of erotic and romantic fiction. I watch a lot of gay porn to keep up with what's current and hot to keep my books current. I've learned that what turns gay men on doesn't always turn on women readers and let's face it, M/M readers are mostly women.
So, I go with my gut. I stick with the more romantic sex scenes and I like a little kink on the side.
You won't however, find fisting, double fists, arms shoved up asses up to the elbow, feces, water sports, vomiting or any of that stuff in my books. It does not turn ME on and I can't imagine I'd do it justice in a romance novel.
Recently I read an excerpt from an M/M author whose male character was chained up, his arms above his head. The scene went on and on and on and I started to worry about his breathing.
In reality, keeping somebody's arms up like that for a long time becomes quite painful.
I know, because we recently shot a similar scene for my book/movie tie-in "Bad Cops" and I noticed the director John Bruno was concerned for the model's comfort and safety.
The model let him know when he wanted to be released.
What has struck me recently is how different a porn movie looks on screen to what happens when it's actually made.
I addressed this issue in my book "A Vampire in Waikiki" but in a humorous way. I was on the set of a gay porn movie at the time and the lead actor was gay-for-pay and having a hard time getting hard.
A woman on the set 'fluffed' him, as in, gave him a blow job, but he panicked, afraid a shot of this would be leaked out and his girlfriend would go mad.
I thought this was funny. He's allowed to suck, fuck and get fucked by other guys but not a woman. He ended up getting hard by watching straight porn.
I was surprised to learn many actual gay porn performers enjoy watching straight porn. Francesco D'Macho shot a vid for his staghomme site and he started the scene watching a straight sex vid.
I gave this touch to Divine "Jimmy" Thunder in one of my Waikiki Vampire stories.
What most authors who write gay sex scenes (and may never have seen actual gay sex) don't know is what goes into making those hot scenes...well, hot.
I recently had dinner with a friend who was shooting a three way scene the next day. He drank water and grilled the waiter about his soup. He was worried about beans in case they made him fart on the set or made his butt smelly.
He went home and gave himself enemas and anal douches.
Steve Cruz is one of the few gay porn stars who discusses openly traveling with a portable douche kit and has blogged about getting ready for such scenes.
By the time guys shoot their fucking scenes they're starving and empty. So if they're turning you on, you know that's some fine-ass acting!
I've also learned now that I am involved with my own porn/erotica with Massive Studios running webisodes of my books "Bad Cops" and "Laid" that a lot goes into those endless 'cum shots'.
There was a guy who came for a scene and got hard but couldn't 'shoot.'
It was difficult for his scene partner and for the crew who were loving and coaxing and yet, needed that money shot.
He confessed he'd fucked his girlfriend that morning and couldn't come again so soon.
That's another thing. Porn stars, real porn stars know to save it up for the big moment.
I could go on. Porn is closer to mainstream movies than you think.
The scenes look hot and when well done there's a lot of romance, genuine connectedness etc. but the reality is - just ask Matthew Rush who blogged about his experience on one movie - you can get a guy who is not professional who shows up with a dirty, poopy ass and expects you to bury your face in it.
Rick R. Reed once blogged - eloquently - on the reality of rimming.
Do romance writers use any of this stuff in their books? No.
Do readers want to read it? I don't think so.
They want the fun, the romance and the drama that goes along with hot sex, gay or straight.
I just think it's worth knowing as a writer the reality of all that fucking.

Aloha oe,

A.J.