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Friday, March 27, 2009

10 Things A Guy Doesn't Want to Find in Your Room

By A.J. Llewellyn

Lemondrop ran an interesting item this week about the 10 things a guy doesn't want to find in your room. It's a semi-cool list and I agree with many of them - such as condom wrappers in the trash, dozens of stuffed animals in the room, photos with your ex and, the bible on the nightstand but I can do better than this.
As a gay man who hears it from both sides - both the scary things my mates find and the embarrassing things women confess they do, so in the interest of romance (hey I write romances, remember) I'd like to present my top 1o things A Guy Doesn't Want to Find in Your Room:

10. Forget the condom wrappers...what about the used condoms? Eeeww!
9. More than a few macabre photos of horrific things such as lynchings. My mate Tony saw these in a woman's bedroom. She said it was research, but he took my advice and ran for the frickin' hills.
8. Sharp, lethal objects mounted and lovingly displayed on the walls
7. Empty booze bottles spilling out of the waste basket
6. Unflushed 'floaters' in your toilet
5. Anything to do with 'The Secret' such as those stupid million dollar checks made out to yourself posted on your wall and 'intention boards' with the word 'husband' pasted on it
4. Canned hunting photos of you and some poor, drugged, dazed endangered critter
3. The Encyclopedia of Auto erotic Asphyxiation as bedtime reading next to a roll of duct tape (this actually happened)
2. A gigantic boat-sized dildo that's um...obviously been used. If you know what I mean...
1. My boyfriend Herve. He's mine. MINE!

What about you? What don't YOU want to see in a guy/girl's room?

Aloha oe,

A.J.

3 comments:

Isabel Roman said...

Well, I think you've covered some pretty good ones there. But don't forget the classics: dirty dishes, pet hair over everything, a guy's room with more make-up than you use...

Sascha Illyvich, erotica romance writer and real estate investor said...

haha yeah more makeup LOL! There is NOTHING wrong with The Secret. But some people are just misunderstood.

It could be worse, the vision boards could have pictures of all ten things you mentioned on htem LOL!

Good post AJ!

AJ Llewellyn said...

Thanks guys. I know there's nothing wrong with The Secret BUT I know too many people who are so confident that million dollars will be there tomorrow that it's ridiculous...lol
Thanks for your funny comments!