One subject that has been coming up over the last few days has been men. Helpful husbands, or rather, not-so-helpful-husbands, in particular.
Love 'em. We really do. I've been hearing about it from friends, strangers, and even the jokes coming through all point to one thing. When the men who love us try to help or surprise us with a special gift, the results are often not what anyone would want.
Let me give you an example. A few years back, I was trying to get a candle stub out of holder. It was handmade pottery. It was made to look like an old fashioned candle holder, the kind with the small bowl to hold the candle, in the middle of a larger, flatter bowl with a handle for one finger on the rim. Picture Revolutionary America. It was one of my favorites and I had it soaking my bathroom sink to melt the wax so I could safely and easily remove the remaining bit of stub and prepare it for a new one.
I had the situation under control. I had it right where I wanted it. Did I need help? No. Did I ask for help? No.
Was that good enough for Mr. I Want to Do Something Good?
Not even close. *sigh*
The end result? A broken bowl, ruined pottery, one more item for the trash.
Last night was no different. He volunteered to go to the grocery store because he wanted something in particular. I had a very short list - 4 items - on the fridge door. I specified the exact brand of salsa I wanted, but didn't tell him how many jars. I also had written down, distilled water. Simple enough right? I always, always buy it in the 1 gallon jugs because they're easy to store next to the bed, and easy to lift for filling the humidifier.
Was that good enough for him?
Oh no. Not even.
"What's that?" I ask.
"It's the 2.5 gallon size."
"Why?"
"I thought it would be easier for you. See, it has a tap. You won't need to use the funnel anymore." He holds up the container and proudly points to the small nozzle.
I hang my head and breathe, searching for that calm center, and more importantly a calm voice. "Where is it supposed to go?"
"On your bedside table, of course."
Brilliant plan, but there's teeny weeny problem with that. "Okay. So where do I now put the humidifier and my alarm clock?"
"Oh. Well, I guess you can store the jug on the floor."
"Okay, so now it's more than twice as heavy and bulky, how am I supposed to lift it?"
"Oh." Scratches his head. "Is that really a problem?"
"Honey, I know you were trying to help, but this doesn't help. Not really. I mean, I want the water inside the jug, but I don't really want the jug, if you get what I'm talking about here."
"Well, I was trying to be helpful. I thought you'd appreciate it."
"Did I ask you to find a better solution?"
"No."
"Did it occur to you I'd already looked at the larger jugs and dismissed them?"
"I didn't know, okay?"
So. How do you guys stay out of trouble and yet find ways to surprise your lady love? You got me. Communications might help. Most everyone carries a cell phone these days and he has been known to use it, every five minutes, when lost at the store. A timely phone call could have resulted in the hero's welcome he was looking for.
Of course I’m not perfect. Years ago I learned not to take a list to the hardware store. That conversation above? Yeah, that one. Turn it around and you have me coming back from the hardware store while DH was trying to work on a project at the cabin we once had. Back in the days when we had only ONE cell phone and no coverage that far out. Only then it usually resulted in me driving the ten miles of gravel road back to the hardware store to return or exchange whatever it was I’d gotten wrong.
I guess if he could still love me after that, I should return the favor without too much bitching, right?
But where would be the fun in that??
Kiss your mates and hug your children as much as you can, or as they’ll allow, this holiday season. For without them, we’d have fewer stories to tell.
Wishing you all the best the season has to offer!
Morgan Quinn O’Reilly
Get Some Tonight
http://morganqoreilly.com/
Get FROZEN in Print today!
Chinook Wine and Sink Her available Now
Cowboys Dream Too Coming April 2009
Halo In Her Pocket Coming Soon from Cobblestone Press
Love 'em. We really do. I've been hearing about it from friends, strangers, and even the jokes coming through all point to one thing. When the men who love us try to help or surprise us with a special gift, the results are often not what anyone would want.
Let me give you an example. A few years back, I was trying to get a candle stub out of holder. It was handmade pottery. It was made to look like an old fashioned candle holder, the kind with the small bowl to hold the candle, in the middle of a larger, flatter bowl with a handle for one finger on the rim. Picture Revolutionary America. It was one of my favorites and I had it soaking my bathroom sink to melt the wax so I could safely and easily remove the remaining bit of stub and prepare it for a new one.
I had the situation under control. I had it right where I wanted it. Did I need help? No. Did I ask for help? No.
Was that good enough for Mr. I Want to Do Something Good?
Not even close. *sigh*
The end result? A broken bowl, ruined pottery, one more item for the trash.
Last night was no different. He volunteered to go to the grocery store because he wanted something in particular. I had a very short list - 4 items - on the fridge door. I specified the exact brand of salsa I wanted, but didn't tell him how many jars. I also had written down, distilled water. Simple enough right? I always, always buy it in the 1 gallon jugs because they're easy to store next to the bed, and easy to lift for filling the humidifier.
Was that good enough for him?
Oh no. Not even.
"What's that?" I ask.
"It's the 2.5 gallon size."
"Why?"
"I thought it would be easier for you. See, it has a tap. You won't need to use the funnel anymore." He holds up the container and proudly points to the small nozzle.
I hang my head and breathe, searching for that calm center, and more importantly a calm voice. "Where is it supposed to go?"
"On your bedside table, of course."
Brilliant plan, but there's teeny weeny problem with that. "Okay. So where do I now put the humidifier and my alarm clock?"
"Oh. Well, I guess you can store the jug on the floor."
"Okay, so now it's more than twice as heavy and bulky, how am I supposed to lift it?"
"Oh." Scratches his head. "Is that really a problem?"
"Honey, I know you were trying to help, but this doesn't help. Not really. I mean, I want the water inside the jug, but I don't really want the jug, if you get what I'm talking about here."
"Well, I was trying to be helpful. I thought you'd appreciate it."
"Did I ask you to find a better solution?"
"No."
"Did it occur to you I'd already looked at the larger jugs and dismissed them?"
"I didn't know, okay?"
So. How do you guys stay out of trouble and yet find ways to surprise your lady love? You got me. Communications might help. Most everyone carries a cell phone these days and he has been known to use it, every five minutes, when lost at the store. A timely phone call could have resulted in the hero's welcome he was looking for.
Of course I’m not perfect. Years ago I learned not to take a list to the hardware store. That conversation above? Yeah, that one. Turn it around and you have me coming back from the hardware store while DH was trying to work on a project at the cabin we once had. Back in the days when we had only ONE cell phone and no coverage that far out. Only then it usually resulted in me driving the ten miles of gravel road back to the hardware store to return or exchange whatever it was I’d gotten wrong.
I guess if he could still love me after that, I should return the favor without too much bitching, right?
But where would be the fun in that??
Kiss your mates and hug your children as much as you can, or as they’ll allow, this holiday season. For without them, we’d have fewer stories to tell.
Wishing you all the best the season has to offer!
Morgan Quinn O’Reilly
Get Some Tonight
http://morganqoreilly.com/
Get FROZEN in Print today!
Chinook Wine and Sink Her available Now
Cowboys Dream Too Coming April 2009
Halo In Her Pocket Coming Soon from Cobblestone Press
2 comments:
Interesting perspective. I have to laugh. I won't go into the male thought process. Men use the KISS method. Guys need the power to read minds, in that way we would not have to have a carpeted and heated dog house. Move over Rover. Funny Blog
Communication is definitely key. I try to keep in mind how helpful he is trying to be and let most things just slide. Smile and nod girl, smile and nod.
Kissa
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