Author Note: Warning; Graphic sexual content. Make sure when you read this ramble you do it with a slow, sexy southern drawl please. ‘Cause that’s the way it’s intended. Wouldn’t want to mess with a memory now would ya? This isn’t a poem and it isn’t quite a story. It’s something called a POUR.
Summer of Awakenin’
or if you prefer:
Southern Boys and Mama’s from Hell
I can still feel his long black hair between my fingers, soft and smooth, glidin’ across my flesh like silk. And his scent. Oh God, I can close my eyes and breathe it in right now. To this day my nipples harden whenever I catch a whiff of Old Spice.
I laugh about it now ’cause I know that boy didn’t buy it for himself. He stole it from his Daddy no doubt. But that night I knew he’d worn it special just for me. Guess he thought it made him a man somehow.
And for a while…I guess it did.
For certain it made me weak in the knees. Or maybe it was just the fact that by wearin’ it he announced his intentions to me. At least that’s how I see it now. And his intentions of course were to get laid. My my. He expected me to make him a man.
Just how the hell he expected me to do that is beyond me. Like I knew how to suck his cock. I didn’t.
We’d made our plans that day in history class. Old Man Rivers was as deaf as a post and dumber too. For days Jimmy had been slidin’ his desk closer and closer. All the while grinnin’ at me and me grinin’ right back and not knowin’ why.
And that day he finally got the nerve to touch me.
At first he put his hand on the seat next to my thigh. I remember it made me nervous, but it was a nice kind of nervous. Know what I mean? Then he pressed the back of his hand against me and I stopped breathin’. I swear I felt like I’d swallowed a bee and it was buzzin’ around inside o’ me.
And then his hand rode up high on my waist.
Now that was a different feelin’ altogether. The heat from that boy’s hand literally traveled the rest of the way up and wrapped itself around my breasts. Hells Bells! That was a shot right between the legs. I think I may have giggled then. Not sure. It was so long ago and I was after all just before passin’ out.
He leaned over~~not eye level~~more like breast level~~and whispered to me. His breath tickled the skin on my arm and the vibrations caused by his voice raised a rash of chill bumps the likes of which I’ve never had again. How can you be hot and cold all at once?
At that moment I thought of Mama. I wasn’t allowed to date. And this sure as hell wasn’t a date, but, something told me Mama would not approve. But something else told me not to give a damn too!
I’m not sure if it was the buzzin’ that bee was doin’ inside o’ me or the way all our friends were starin’ at us, but I couldn’t hear a thing Jimmy was sayin’ so I inclined my head to listen.
"I’ll be down by the pond tonight. Meet me at midnight."
I hadn’t expected that and when he said it I looked up. I can see his dark blue eyes so clearly. I never said yes or no. And he moved away then, as if it was a done deal.
And I guess it was.
I moved through the rest of that day as if I was walkin’ through a thick cloud. Only the cloud was inside my head. Meetin’ him was gonna take some doin’ on my part. I’d have to slip out the window and if I got caught…
I barely ate a thing at dinner that night. Which was a good thing. It played right into that, "I’m not feelin’ so well" excuse I gave. I simply couldn’t spend another minute with my family. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
Mama came up about ten and said good night. I was already in bed, feignin' sleep. She didn’t care though. She woke me to ask if I was asleep.
After she left I went back to what I was doin' which was watchin’ the clock. I figured it would take me about fifteen minutes to get to the pond. Somehow though I knew I’d get there early. Knew he’d be there waitin’ too.
At twenty past eleven I couldn’t stand it another minute. I got out o’ bed and threw on my shorts and t-shirt and slipped my feet in my flip flops. The window was stuck- of course. And I knew every time I pushed on it my Mama heard it. I kept runnin’ back and forth to the door and openin’ it to look down the hall to see if she was comin’.
Finally I got the window to move a little, and inch by inch, opened it far enough to climb through. When I hit the ground I took off runnin’ and lost a flip flop the very first thing. I scrambled for it like a fool. I should’ve left it.
If I was gonna get naked why the hell did I need flip flops?
I’d like to say that I was imaginin’ all kinds of things. That I could see him kissin’ me or layin’ me down on the grass and fuckin’ me. Not that I was all too sure of exactly what that was. I mean I knew, but do you ever really know until you actually do it?
The truth is I had no idea what I was runnin’ to. Not a clue as to what to expect. And then I did actually have a thought. What if he didn’t show up? I stopped dead in my tracks and almost turned around. But that didn’t last long. I started runnin’ again, only slowin’ down and walkin’ just before I got there. I didn’t want to be out o’ breath when we met. Even then I had enough sense to know that you never let a man see how anxious you are. I guess I forgot about bein’ thirty minutes early and how that might appear. But he was there. Waitin’.
He looked down at the ground. So did I. We said hello. I walked down to the edge o’ the pond and Jimmy asked if I wanted to sit on the pier. I shrugged. More danger. That rickety ol’ pier had been there since the beginning o’ time.
So we sat side by side. Waitin’. On what? Hell I knew he was gonna kiss me sooner or later. We talked about school for a few minutes and then it happened. He put his arm around me. Got to give the boy credit. He moved faster than most men I’ve known. Of course most men have been slapped at least once and know better than to move too fast. They look for signals. Jimmy wasn’t experienced enough to look for a signal. But the truth be told, if I were a signal, I’d have been a flashing red light!
My lower belly tightened. And God, yes, my clit was throbbin’ and I didn’t even know I had one. But I sure as hell knew where it was after that night. His lips were cool and wet. Mine were hot and dry. He tasted like Bazooka bubble gum and yes, he smelled of Old Spice.
I guess because I kissed him back he got brave, 'cause he pushed his tongue between my lips. And you know what I found out? You really do melt just like they say in all those romance books, because I did. The evidence was in the creamy feel of my slit. And later of course I realized the crotch of my panties were wet too.
We sort o’ fell back on the pier. It was a clumsy move and all of a sudden he was all hands. And I couldn’t keep up. The faster I pushed him away from one spot the faster he moved to another.
Not that I’m complainin’. It was instinctive that I kept pushin’ him away and that he kept comin’ back for more. We finally settled down a little bit and he started to rub my breasts. And he still had his tongue in my mouth. The nice thing about Jimmy was he seemed to know when to apply pressure and when to let up. He could teach a grown man a trick or two and that’s a fact.
Well I finally did it. Yep. I up and moaned. God help me, I did. Fuck the flashin’ light signalin’ for more, I had my own built in siren too. It was all the encouragement Jimmy needed. Next stop? You guessed it. His hand went straight to my pussy. And I swear to ya, as I live and breathe, I bucked like a wild horse, throwin’ that boy right off o’ me. We both sat straight up and stared at each other a few moments. He was confused. I don’t blame him. So was I.
He said, "I guess you don’t want to do this."
And I said, "I don’t know."
So he said, "Why don’t we just kiss for a while then?"
I agreed. Kissin’ I could handle. So we started kissin’. And sure enough his hand went to my breasts again. Well I kinda liked that anyway, but after a while it wasn’t enough. Never is. Is it?
This time his hand slipped inside the waist band of my shorts. And I let him. He started rubbin’ the lower part of my belly, gettin’ close to the curls hidin’ my sex. You know in a lot of ways I was shy, but not that shy. I kinda figured if he can do this so can I. So I started rubbin’ the front of his jeans. He was so fuckin’ hard. Of course I didn’t understand that. Well at least not until he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the damned thing out and laid it in my hand! It was smooth and hard and soft all at the same time. Imagine that. A cock in my hand.
"Play with it," he said.
"How?" I said.
"Just rub it and kiss it a bit."
Kiss it? Did he really say Kiss it? I know I’d been nervous about even bein’ there in the first place. And I was shakin’ a bit too. But hell. I kissed it. Right on the end. The head. That’s when Jimmy pushed me down and dead on it. It was in my mouth before I knew it. And Jimmy was moving in and out. I started to gag and fell backward. I bet Ol’ Jimmy learned a lesson about that. And then again, maybe not. Men are like that ya know. Shove it in at all costs.
Anyway it didn’t stop Jimmy. He got on top of me and started to hump up and down against the front of my shorts. His hand went inside again and this time he made it down into the curls and inside the slit.
OH MY GOD. Katie bar the door. I spread ’em wide. Yes I did!
He rubbed and humped. Rubbed and humped. And every once in a while he actually hit the right spot too. Before you know it the world started spinnin’ and I DID NOT WANT TO GET OFF! The world that is. The getting’ off part I was mighty pleased with.
Jimmy however, was having a rough time of it. As soon as I was in my right mind again I noticed he’d stopped and was movin’ his cock back and forth in his hand.
I guess more of those instincts kicked in ’cause I reached over and grabbed it from him and started jerkin’ it back and forth. And it didn’t take long. All that creamy white stuff started shootin’ out o’ him and I pulled my hand away. He put his hand on it himself then and kept right on strokin’ too. It just kept oozin’ and I kept lookin’. And believe it or not I understood he was feelin’ the same thing I’d just felt.
And I thought that was kinda nice.
After that we were both a bit embarrassed I think. So we kissed one more time and talked about meetin’ again the next night. I didn’t run home as I wasn’t at all anxious to get there. I even stopped out in the yard and stared at the house for a long time. It was dark and all was quiet.
You know I think I must’ve started holding my breath the moment I went out that window, 'cause all of a sudden I relaxed and let out a long one. I hadn’t been caught and something pretty damned special had happened to me. I tip-toed over to the window and started climbin’ in. About half way through I was dragged the rest o’ the way.
The lights switched on and there was Daddy too. Mama was screamin’ at me like a banshee. She threw me on the bed and started hittin’ me with her fists. Over and over she just kept hittin’ me and askin’ me where I’d been and what I’d been doin’, never givin’ me a chance to answer. She had all the answers. Told me I’d been off with a boy and havin’ sex and bein’ a nasty girl.
Daddy just stood there with his head hung. There wasn’t anything he could do.
Mama was like that. Don’t get me wrong, she had good days too. Bright, sweet days when her laughter was like magic. But she had her dark times for sure. Mama was broken. I knew it. Daddy knew it. And we forgave her every time.
I don’t know how long she beat me. Don’t really care. I didn’t cry that time. I had something inside me stronger than Mama. I guess maybe I sorta became a woman that night. I was different. I know that for a fact. I think she knew it too, 'cause she couldn’t beat me enough.
After a while she left me there. Out o’ breath she spat her last words. "Lyin’ little slut." And she switched off the light.
I couldn’t go to school for a while after that. My eyes were swollen shut. Too black, too blue. And of course I didn’t see Jimmy the next night either. When I did go back to school, he didn’t even look at me. Another year of high school and we never spoke again.
I never kissed another boy until after I left home either. I had a couple of opportunities, but I didn’t want to risk makin’ Mama mad. There was a part o’ me too that wanted to keep Jimmy’s kiss safe. If I didn’t kiss anyone else, he’d always be there somehow.
Mama died o’ cancer a few years ago. She died angry- just as angry as she lived. I think o' Jimmy often, wondering where he is. Is he happy? Does he ever think o’ me? I keep a bottle of Old Spice in a cabinet in the bathroom. It’s hard to find Bazooka bubble gum. But every once in a while I see it some place. I buy every single piece they have. THE END.
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