By AJ Llewellyn
When I grew up in Australia (1970s) I remember as a kid my older cousins were all about mood rings and biorhythms. I still remember one hot day in my Uncle George's backyard, my cousin Con's girlfriend (who'd forced him to wear a mood ring) moaning about him being in a bad mood. The ring said so.
"No, I'm not," he kept bleating to deaf ears.
It was around this time that Astrology was the new thing and everybody started automatically asking "What star sign are you?"
What amused me - and follow me here kids - was that I had cousins and aunts and uncles whose signs apparently were bad for one another and yet these were among the happiest marriages I knew.
When I moved to California in 1984, astrology compatibility charts were the new rage. I had friends who invested $50-$100 in getting these done. Sometimes they were told the man they were involved with had 100% compatibility - only to learn he was a child molester or something. I work at a movie studio and spend my days consulting with authors about their storylines - especially in the always popular 'rom-coms' as we call them. Fresh is good. Gimmicky, good. If it has a nasty twist.
One of my favorite screenwriters plots out her storylines with characters' astrology signs and accompanying bad traits allegedly attached to each. She must know what she's doing. She's made a fortune.
Inevitably compatibility and dating disasters are strip mined when writers write for the benefits of mankind's entertainment.
So imagine my bemusement to discover that Dating DNA is the new thing. Yep, for $199 you can get a swab of your partner's DNA - and yours - and pretty soon you get a complete outsider telling you whether you're good enough for each other.
Are we not taking things too far now? What are we, pit pulls preparing for pureblood breeding?
What if your DNA report comes back YOU SUCK TOGETHER! and yet, you've managed to create a wonderful life and two, darned cute kids together?
What do you do then? Start to find other flaws? File for a quickie divorce? What happened to getting to know you, love, commitment...feelings?
All I know is a piece of paper won't tell me what I need to know. I don't dispute DNA findings for criminal cases or paternity issues, but can it really tell me I don't belong with the man I love?
I say chuck out the mood rings, ignore the charts...blood be damned. Roll with the punches and lead with your heart.
What about you? Do you think you'll be rushing out to try Dating DNA? What happens if you get bad news? What if it's good news but you still don't think the guy in question is the one for you?