By Sascha Illyvich
Hi dearest, how are you? I see that sexy little smile on your face as you read this, knowing you’re making yourself excited just thinking about me. Hmm? You say you’re anxious to see me here?
Well I’d love to be there, lovely.
STOP!
Can anyone tell me what was wrong with the introduction to this blog?
Or in the following scenario: I get an IM from a friend, she often says “Hello my prince.” I respond, “my little pet.”
The answer? Depends on who you are. My best friend of seventeen years often calls me and we talk like we’re best friends. She says “hi honey,” and I respond with, “Damn darling, that sucks.” Or whatever my response is. Thing is, if my significant other walks in on the conversation, she glares daggers at me.
“You might give women the wrong impression,” the significant other says. “You’ve done it before.”
True, I was young and dumb and didn’t realize women were trying to pick me up, sometimes in front of the very same significant other! Women are incredible creatures, aren’t they folks?
Another friend refers to me as the silver wolf, basing her comment on my aura. Again, friend from high school and I DO write as the White Wolf, though another female writer called me the dark wolf prince. Girlfriend was upset too. Now when I talk to others on the phone, I usually throw out the word dear and babe, or my worst one, “baby.” But my tone to me is not that of seduction. It’s of “I hear you and am being sweet.”
One friend defended my behavior as being a southern thing. I’m originally from Texas but never really claimed the “Southern” lifestyle or it’s beliefs. But it’s a great excuse, right?
Are you overly friendly with your friends or coworkers? Is it to the point of annoyance to the significant other or are they truly overreacting? True I could get myself into a LOT of trouble *wicked grins* but that hasn’t happened since I became aware of my language to others. So no more true trouble, only mild mischief for me!
The reality of this is that while I am a sweet author, as most authors are, a bit of a “schtick” is needed. I write romance. How many authors do you know that write romance are all “just good guys?” Well, none since the genre is dominated by women, but still! Without casual flirting, aren’t we just another author trying to peddle wares?
What say you?
Sascha Illyvich
http://saschai.literalseduction.net
13 comments:
Hey Sascha...you know I think you are right. It all depends on 'who' the someone is. Because if it was a good friend who knew me well enough, they would know it was just me be me and not flirting or opening myself up to unwanted attention.
Plus..unfortunately..in our society...we have to worry about sexual harrassment. Sad, but true. And you just never know who is going to take it wrong.
I'm from the South too as you know and you are sooo right. We use terms of endearment freely. And that can sometimes be misconstrued as being too familiar. But I decided a long time ago that it is a part of who I am. My roots. And I don't plan on changing it.
Online flirting is fun...and safe..lol...I love calling you The Dark Wolf Prince. You're a great author and a great guy. What's not to like...or to flirt with?!
Kisses,
Tess or Tessie lol
Hehe when I was younger I actually worried SO MUCH about sexual harrassment that I turned down a friendly shoulder rub from a friend/coworker while at work cause I was just so paranoid!
Dumb ass me...
But thanks for commenting! BOth of you!
Sascha
And I quote,
How many authors do you know that write romance are all “just good guys?”
Actually, at least one - my other half!! But not being from the south, neither he nor I are as accustomed to trotting out all that sweet flirty talk, with each other (where words don't matter as much lol) or with outsiders.
I agree with Tess, it's safer on line - but, by the same token, we can't see faces or hear inflection and innuendo on the written page, whether in paper or in cyberspace, so it does get tricky!!
Anyway, Lone White Wolf, loved your blog, love having you as part of Midnight Seductions Authors and love what you write!
Adriana
http://www.adrianakraft.com
I am a very standoffish person (moreso in real life, but I tend to be formal or more distant online as well), so this is not something that's an issue for me. I guess that's odd as my dad is from down South and his relatives are always calling everyone honey. :)
Still, I think as long as it's not taken too far a bit of flirty talk can be fun, especially if people get to know you and know you're just joking around.
Well I do think people as a whole are just strangers. And to me, the bigger issue is that it isn't right. I AM a mean guy. I'm a VERY mean person in business, it's just because I've modeled myself after someone successful who takes no bull. So to be sweet, well couldn't we all use a little flirt?
And Cassandra, you're number's next. I've got Tessie, AnneMarie, Savannah *giggles*
I just think there is absolutely nothing wrong with good natured flirting on line. Doing what we do we are all here so much of the time. Online is like another world for us. I see people referring to groups as "heading over there right now" or "I was over there today".
We've made this place somewhat real and we must give our online home a bit of humanity, if you will. We give hugs to group members who come online and say they have had surgery or were in an accident. We share recipes and how to's on making book marks and key chains.
We spend so much time together it's like a community of sorts. Harmless flirting is just another part of it. Some people see it as very offensive and they are very uptight people indeed.
Some even think of it as unprofessional if an author engages in it. I've seen some truly truly truly unprofessional behavior by authors and it wasn't flirting. Flirting I think of as light hearted banter. But some of the things I've seen authors, do and say online are truly unprofessional in comparison to flirting.
Now I'm going to write. On a holiday no less. How professional is that?
Some people are just natural flirts. My husband is like that he talks with everyone and flirts constantly. He denies it of course but it doesn't bother me. I think flirting is something that keeps the juices flowing..
Kissa
Great post, Sascha and it leaves lots to think about. I truly AM a southern woman (a Texan) and I tend to great everyone with Hi Honey, How are ya, Sugar? It's the way I AM and have always been. I've even been known to make up an endearment or two...sugar dumplin...little punkin. My peeps love me, my family loves me and I don't care how I come off. I'm am affectionate and speak affectionately. Think much is in the delivery. The tone. Whether the endearment is delivered in a "breathy" manner. There's a difference between flirty and friendly and it's all in the tone.
Hi Sascha,
Great blog post!
You are one of the good guys and I'm having great fun getting to know you.
I've made some really good writing friends online and I think they know me well enough to know when I'm teasing. Just to be safe sometimes I'll add the comment. Like someone else posted, sometimes it is hard to know if someone is really teasing or not.
*Waving from way, down South darlin'!*
Tambra
hehe you are all a trip and have somewhat inspired April's Blog post...so look out :)
S
Sascha, you silver-tongued devil!
I happen to love to be called Darlin and with a name like that, you almost have to flirt a little. I'm also married to the king of flirts. The girl at the McDonald's drive-thru giggles like crazy every time he calls her "hon."
I'm Southern, but I don't tend to use sweet talk with men as much as I do with my girlfriends. Hmmm... maybe because I don't want them to get the wrong idea? Either way, I think it's all in the delivery. I like being called all sorts of sweet things, unless I think someone's coming on too strong.
Wendi Darlin
Well Darlin, we should talk more *wg*
Sascha
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