Osculation:
1.
the act of kissing.
2.
a kiss.
3.
close contact.
4.
Geometry. the contact between two osculating curves or the like.
LOL. Yes, I'm being fancy today. Just in case you don't know, osculation is the scientific name for kissing. I was reading another blog recently and saw the most beautiful pictures of people kissing each other. Some were long-term partners, some had been together for a month or two. Just seeing the pictures reminded me of how important an act kissing really is. Remember when you were a youngster and the only thing you ever did was kiss? Weren't they just the most innocent of days?
I had a friend read over a short story of mine a few months ago. She really enjoyed it, but remarked that I should add more kissing. I did LOL. Her comments made me think about my writing and how people like to feel when they read an erotic story. It's not just about the sex is it? It's about using all your senses and stimulating your mind. Believe it or not, the brain is the best sex toy that we have. Even as a reader we like a bit of foreplay and kissing is a vital part of that foreplay.
This weekend I asked my friends on MySpace to help with a little research regarding this topic. As readers, it seems that we all love to read about the act of kissing. Some friends even remarked that it was the most enjoyable part of the book. The general consensus was that as long as the scene was descriptive (but not overly so) and well written, then it could make for some very interesting reading indeed.
So, where does our enjoyment of reading about kissing originally stem from? If we enjoy it in our books, then how highly do we rate kissing in our everyday lives? Well, during the course of my un-scientific research, I discovered some very interesting data. One question that I asked was, on a scale of 1-10, how important is kissing to you. More than half of those surveyed rated it above 8. And 1/5th rated it 10 and above. But is a bad kiss enough to put us off a potential partner? Apparently not. Most of those surveyed felt that a bad kiss on a first date could be put down to nerves and would be willing to give the said “bad” kisser another chance. However, we are rather harsh on those who kiss badly on subsequent dates.
Most of us here will agree that we love reading and writing about sex. But when compared to kissing, how does it rate in our real lives? My question to my willing participants was: Is kissing more important than sex? Well, there was some division on this one. However, the majority of those surveyed felt that kissing WAS more important than sex. Some noted that the two had equal importance.
In examining if readers felt that kissing was more personal than sex, I again saw a division. It was a close call between those who agreed and those who disagreed. Some even noted that kissing could be just as intimate as sex and one reader told me that in the absence of sex, kissing was a wonderful method of achieving daily intimacy. Therefore, it does seem as though we regard kissing as a highly intimate and very important part of our lives. In our books, as well as our daily routines, it is regarded just as highly, if not more so than sex. This is indeed food for thought for the writers amongst us, who maybe sometimes gloss over the kissing and get straight to the sex. I know that it’s something I’ll be paying far more attention to in the future.
So, where do we think this fascination with kissing comes from? Well, our mouths are one of, if not the most sensitive parts of our bodies. Look at how babies perceive the world around them. As part of their exploration play they naturally put things in their mouth to decide if it's good or bad. Their reactions are instant. Now wouldn't it be wonderful if we could make such perceptions with prospective partners? It would save an awful lot of time and a whole lot of heartache. Sadly as we get older, we have to go beyond the stage of putting things in our mouths before deciding if they're going to hurt you or not. Relationships tend to have to get into your heart and soul before we can make a true critique upon them. But wouldn't you agree that the kissing is always good in the beginning?
Our covers!
8 comments:
Many erotic stories make the point that kissing is indeed more intimate that fucking. Genitals are anonymous. Face-to-face, mouth-to-mouth, eye-to-eye, we know who we are in contact with.
At the same time, kissing is not just about mouths. I'll never forget the first time my husband and I kissed (in the middle of a Boston sidewalk). I like to tease him, letting him know that he's a "full body" kisser! I'm surprised that we didn't get arrested!
It's a continuum. But a sex scene that begins with a kiss is more likely to end happily, in my opinion.
I sure am glad we shortened that word to just plain kissing. lol Can you see us saying it in a story?..."He osculated her deeply"...lol...no way.
As far as kissing in a story goes...oh yeah, kissing is incredibly sensual...romantic
...erotic. There are soooo many places to kiss! And the way a writer describes it can be just as sexy as an orgasm.
And here is a fact about kissing that you might not have known. Someone who doesn't like to kiss or will not kiss you has a real fear of intimacy. That's just how intimate a kiss is. It seems...hell as we all know...that we can have sex and move on and never feel anything emotionally. Just that primal release.
But kissing is very very intimate. For instance, a great many men who cheat on their wives refuse to kiss the women they are cheating with. It's their way of refraining from intimacy. Keeping their love for their wife separate from the affair.
So gals, if a man doesn't kiss you...he's not a keeper. Throw him back! He has issues and you DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE!
Great post, Megan.
I think kissing is an important way to set the tone of what will happen later. If the kiss is wild and rough, readers know what kind of sex is about to occur, for example. A tender kiss sends a different message and yes...I agree, kissing seems to be missing in lots of erotic work and I'm with Tess, there are soooo many places to kiss. YUM.
Great post, Megan!
Kissing is the best! I remember younger days spent kissing for hours, I'd love to find the time to do that now. Some of the most erotic scenes I've read have been kiss scenes. I love the first kiss between two sexually charged characters. A lot of times that's my favorite part of the book. :)
Wendi Darlin
This is a great blog Megan. I will try to be more aware of my kissing scenes. I think it would be easy to forget about it when writing sex scenes when it really does set the mood. And you are right it doesn't always have to be about sex, kissing can be just as exciting and wonderful and definitely plays an important part in a relationship. Remember in Pretty Woman when she wouldn't kiss her tricks because it was too intimate?
Wonderful post!
Sophia
Wonderful post, Megan! Yes, kissing is so intimate, whatever word we're using to describe it. I especially love your last paragraph - I think in some ways one of the reasons it's so charged is because it was the first way we knew our world and the first way we derived comfort, and when it's going well, it takes us back there, to feeling comforted and loved.
So as to your last sentence - actually, no, the kissing isn't always good in the beginning, and that's a reason to end things right there, but if it IS good, we'll keep coming back for more and finding out if it delivers what's promised.
Adriana
Certainly a topic I should explore more...
Megan,
Why did you have to throw geometry in this?? LOL
I thought of a deep, passionate, hot, intense kiss....that was congruent to another. lol
I do agree though, kissing is just...*phew* A kiss....oh my...my first kiss wasn't anything special. But now, I'm learning what the word swoon truly means with my man now.
Ohhhh I understand how writing a kiss that can take your breath away not only adds fuel to the book but makes any readers heart flutter.
The words are key and vital......a definite must.
The geometry....Nah I can do without.
Post a Comment